Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Has anyone seen my brain?


Has anyone seen my brain lately? Seriously? As you can obviously see I haven't been blogging. 1)I couldn't really think of anything to blog about, random or not. And 2)I was busy with my sons first birthday party! That was this past Sunday which is why I didn't do my weekly Sunday Situation, which I still might do, maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not.

I love planning and throwing big events. Every year I throw a big Christmas party at our house for all of our closest friends. Each year its gets bigger and more entailed. But I HATE hostessing! Same goes for the big birthday party this past weekend!

For Alex's birthday we had a backyard pig pickin' here at the house. We're southern people! It's what we do. So I invited about 35 people, thinking about half would show up. Um, no almost all of them showed up. Except for Maria.. But she was sick so I'll let her slide. Although she lives in NC, and hates pig. So she probably just stayed home to avoid the pig and so she could lick her new laptop.

My husband turns into this super jack ass when we do big events like these. Never mind the fact that I had been busting my ass for the past three days doing stuff for the party, but apparently he diluted himself into thinking that he had been doing all the work. About and hour and a half before the guests were suppose to arrive I told me husband I was going to jump in the shower. He asked me where I wanted the tables so I pointed in a general direction and said "over there". He started to bitch, moan, and whine, so I turned around and went outside to help him find the exact square inch where to place the tables. While moving the first table we were arguing, about what I really have no clue. But he made the mistake of muttering, "I'm the one who's been doing all the work". What? I'm sorry, WHAT? Yo
u didn't clean the house. You didn't do one once of the shopping or planning. Did you decorate the inside and outside of the house? No. Who ordered, decided on, and picked up the cake? Invitations? Presents? Not you. I did all this while chasing after Alex. You're cooking the pig. You had to fetch the pig, get the pig cooker, and put the pig on the grill. Oh and you had to mow the lawn. Yah, wow you've had to do a lot of work. So I drop the table. And I walk inside. He can move the fucking tables himself. I am so livid I can feel my damn body humming. You know the kind of angry I'm talking about where you feel like a live wire? Eventually it passed. He never did apologize. I hate it that we always argue when planning things like this. Never fails.

So the bitches at the party store lied about the balloon weights. I asked them, "Now these weights will keep 5 balloons down on the table in the backyard with some wind? Because my neighborhood is basically treeless." They said, oh yes! They will weigh about 20 balloons
down. LIAR! Soon as I set them out on my perfectly done tables, whooooooooooosh, off they flew to the ground. Did I mention I'm somewhat of a perfectionist? I was pissed. Now my perfect tables were not perfect. I even had personally hand made little balloon clips that were keeping the table cloths on the tables in my windy backyard. Ugh. Damn wind. But at least we had sunny 70 degree weather! It was a gorgeous day!

On the day Alex was born, my husband gave me a necklace. It was a silver heart with a diamond butterfly on it. (I have a thing for butterflies) It's one of my favorite things to wear. Usually I put it on myself but I wanted Phillip to put it on me for nostalgia purposes. So I go outside and he's busy chopping up onions. I told him I was going to get him to put my necklace on me, but never mind his hands were nasty. He told me to go get his brother to do it, I said no, not this necklace. Then he said, go get his brother's girlfriend to do it. NO, not this necklace. I started to get a little misty eyed because it was starting to hit me that Alex was now a year old and not my "baby" anymore. So I started to put the necklace on myself and Phillip says, "I didn't think onions made you cry". They don't. Men. He figured it out a minute later.

So remember the whole, anyone seen my brain? Yah, I'm so pissed at myself. I never took a picture of the big birthday cake. The only picture of Alex's birthday cake that he destroyed was right before and while he was destroying it. I was so busy greeting people, talking to people, making sure people had things that I didn't take many pictures. I kept handing my camera off to people. I didn't have time to take any pictures before people got here because I had just gotten Alex and myself dressed right before people showed up. *sigh* I don't have any pictures of Alex with myself or Phillip except when he's eating his cake. I have NO pictures of Alex with any grandparents, family, or other adult friends. I don't have pictures of just people who came to the party. I'm so upset about this. And most people who know me know I'm a photo hog! I'm forever snapping pictures. I don't even remember other people snapping pictures. I know my mom and sister-in-law were taking a few. Oh woe is me. I do however have lots of pictures with Alex and his girlfriend Mary Ruth!! Too cute!!! And I have some great pictures of Alex eating his cake!

So now my baby is a toddler. Although he's been walking for a month now...so he's been "toddling" for a month. Does that mean he's really been a toddler for a month? I'm glad birthday's only come once a year because it was exhausting! I'm still in lazy mode and don't feel like doing jack today. But I guess I should get off my fat ass and go start laundry. At least I don't have to clean the cheerios up off the floor that Alex has been throw over his high chair since I started typing. He thinks it's hilarious that Mia, our yellow lab, is eating them off the floor as he throws them! God bless Mia.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Situation Sunday



Situation Sunday #52
Rules: You have no cell no phone. Visit Helena-Skyblue and leave a link

Situation # 1
Your spouse has been meeting their friends, every other week for a get together. They usually go to this strip club and hang out and have drinks. You have no problem with this until you find out your best friend has been moonlighting there......What do you do?

(This is totally hypothetical because I would not be cool with my husband hanging out at a strip club repeatedly.) Depends. How did I find out my best friend was working there? If my husband told me than I'd ask him if she was any good and exactly how much of her did he see? I'd then tell him he had to find a new place to hang out. If my best friend told me, I'd first say, "****, what the HELL is wrong with you? Why didn't you let me sign up with you? Dumb ass." Then I'd go home to proceed to beat the crap out of my husband.

Situation # 2
You are approached on the street by the local 6 O'clock broad caster. He asks you who do you feel best to win the Presidential Election.....Clinton, Obama or McCain. ( My spelling could be off}....What do you tell them?.......

I start signing random crap in sign language hoping they'll have no idea how to actually do sign language, think I'm deaf, they'll feel embarrassed, and leave me the hell alone. Why? Because I don't pay as close attention to politics as I should... and I don't want to get stoned to death by the democrats.

Situation # 3
You have just found a magical lamp....You rub it and a Genie pops out and grants you 2 wishes...And only 2.....What are they?

Wish #1: To grant me 1 wish a week for the rest of my life. (Don't want to be too greedy)
Wish #2: World peace. :-D