Karma Got Me!

I almost died the other day. Okay, well maybe not really. But I could have been seriously hurt! I’ll tell you the story, but it’s going to be a little long winded because I need to paint the picture for you. So deal with it.

I am almost always running late in the morning on days that I work. Not because I hit the snooze one too many times, or because I spend too much time in front of the mirror. Please, I’m a paramedic. I don’t remember the last time I put on makeup for work. It’s because I have this stupid need to check my email and other web sites before work. Even if I’m running late, I still somehow convince myself that I have time to check my email. I usually get half dressed before I check my email. This includes my under shirt, EMS pants (with all my crap stuffed into the side pockets on the leg), my combat boots, and my belt with my radio clip on it. That way all I have to do is throw on my dress shirt, buckle my belt, and I’m out the door.

This one particular morning I didn’t feel like pulling my laptop out of my book bag where I left it overnight so I decided to run upstairs to the FROG where my ancient desktop computer resides. I figured I had about 5 minutes to spend checking my email, and MySpace, and Facebook…. No problem! A signed onto Google email and started scanning my emails when my friend Maria messaged me on Google chat. We were chatting along when I realized it had been 8 minutes already. CRAP! I had to go.

I had meant to send Maria an email the night before about a dog attack call that I went on that involved 2 pitt bulls. The patient had these dogs since they were puppies and has had them for years, one was 9 years old and the other was 3! The patient told me she heard her two dogs fighting in the backyard and went to break it up. Both dogs ended up turning on her and she had two nasty injuries, one requiring surgery. Anyway, Maria is an avid dog lover and is adamant about not discriminating against pitt bulls. Me, on the other hand, have been to many dog attacks in my 7 years in EMS and every one of them has involved a pitt bull. I just don’t care for them. I don’t trust them.

So before I signed out of GMAIL, I wanted to give her a little poke in the ribs about the dog attack. I sent her a quick synopsis, followed by, “I’m just saying…..” and exited out of the program. I laughed to myself and was thinking, Ha, so there you pitt bull empathizer, eat that! I headed down the stairs which are shaped like the letter L. I made it down the first flight turned the corner and then WHAM. Next thing I knew I was at the bottom of the stairs sprawled on the floor laughing my ass off. It hurt like hell, but it just too funny not to laugh at.

You see, what happened was…. As I turned the corner my belt buckle (my belt was unbuckled and my pants not buttoned or zipped) got caught on the banister. I turned my body to the side a bit to try and un-snag the buckle while still stepping down the step. That little turn to the side was just enough force to further pull on my pants and let them fall down around my lower legs. This ultimately caused me to go crashing down the rest of the stairs.

I got up and did a quick body scan. I was fine. Not even a red mark! But, there was a nice black scuff mark where my boot dragged down the wall. As I raced to finish getting dressed, grabbed my book bag and trotted out to the car I was thinking to myself, damn karma is a bitch!