McDonald's Corruption at One Year, 2 Weeks, and 2 Days Old!

Today I bought Alex his first Happy Meal from McDonald's. On our way home from Alex's one year well check (yah, great time to do it!) I called my friend Temple who was currently driving half across the state with her daughter Mary Ruth. They just so happened to be stopped at a McDonald's enjoying some lunch! Mary Ruth was munching on her first happy meal and Temple was lamenting about buying her first happy meal! After we hung up and I continued driving home I realized I was hungry. And there was no food at the house. Lo and behold there was a McDonald's on the way home! (Who doesn't have a McDonald's on the way home, really?)

So I ordered Alex his first happy meal. A four piece chicken nugget with apple dippers and an apple juice. I have no clue how much I paid for all of that. Too much I'm sure. Because I think all in all, Alex ate 1 1/2 chicken nuggets and about 3 apple slices. The juice box is still in the fridge. We drink 75% water with our juice around here. I was initially really excited because I thought Alex ate 3 chicken nuggets! But no, he fed some to the dog and when I picked him up from his high chair he was sitting on several pieces that probably made up another half. That again, went to the dog. So I added some Gerber Yogurt Melts (those rock!) and called it a meal. Whatever works.

I don't feel guilty for stopping at McDonald's. His lunch was probably healthier than if he had eaten a Gerber Graduates meal. Have you ever looked at the label on those things? Hello sodium! Plus the anal retentive in me peeled away most of the breading and just gave him the chicken. At least I hope it was chicken. They claim its all white meat. Who's white meat, I'm not sure. As long as its not Michael Jackson's...

I hate being a fat person. I hate that my husband is fat. At least we're not FAT fat. Just overweight fat, but not like holy shit look at them fat! I know I have poor eating habits and that my husbands are even worse. At least I eat vegetables. Stupid man. I'm worried that Alex is going to be overweight. So I scrutinize and over analyze everything I feed him. Trying to make sure he's eating enough veggies, and fruits. But I don't want to deny him anything either, like red meat. I would hurt someone if they took away my steak. Now candy and sugars and such, I have no problem denying him. Like juice. To me that is just wasted calories and so bad for the teeth! I know what my problem is. I need to cook. I need to learn to cook more and like it. *In my whiny voice* But I don't want to! I hate all the prepping, and cooking, and then cleaning, for 20 minutes of eating! Grrrrrr! Any advice in that area would be great.

It's so sad that I was thrilled today at Alex's one year well check that his weight fell into the 75th percentile instead of the 90th percentile, where it's been since he was 2 weeks old. His noggin's still in the 90% though, ha ha! Poor little guy, his height dipped under the 50th percentile. Oh well, he's going to be short like his parents. No shocker there.

Well, my first 30 minutes of my precious nap time were wasted cleaning the gazillion parts of the only sippy cups that Alex adores. Why can't that child learn to tilt a cup UP? He insists on straws. And the straw cups come with parts. I hate parts. Parts I have to wash. And lose. Oh well. So I've heard from a few different Speech Language Pathologists, straws are better in the long run. And the last 45 minutes were devoted to this blog. Now I suppose I should go do some housework. I have laundry to fold, laundry to wash, dishes to put away, strawberries drying in the drain waiting to be sliced, toys to straighten..... yet my big fluffy red couch and the TV looks awful inviting with my entirely too many DVR'd shows to be watched.....

The hell?

Not more than fifteen minutes ago I left the scene of an accident that I was on. (I am currently at work, and yes I rushed back so I could blog about it. What? If I didn't, thanks to the damn Topamax, I would have forgotten!) It was a two car accident with moderate damage, everyone was okay. After colliding, the two cars actually ended up in a parking lot. This parking lot is right next to a NC State Trooper station so there just so happened to be four NC State Troopers on scene, alone with the usual Fire and myself-EMS. (It was in the city limits but city PD was not on scene yet) As my partner was talking to the only patient who was complaining of injuries, and I was chatting with the fire guys-and gal, this black BMW drove amongst the emergency vehicles. The driver talks animatedly with hand gestures and with a distinct attitude to one of the troopers. The trooper naturally responds back with an attitude and a bad ass, arms across the chest, stance. The fire guys-and gal, and I are straining to hear the words being exchanged, but we can only here a few words. I hear from the driver " trying to avoid" and from the trooper "so it's my fault?"

I guess she was somehow involved in this wreck even though there is not a scratch on her shiny black high dollar BMW with Maryland tags. I glance at the driver. She's apparently okay because she's still flapping her arms and her lips at the state trooper who is clearly irritated. The front seat passenger is shaking her head and rolling her eyes. At everyone. (I wanted to go shake the piss out of her and I didn't even I have a reason). And the three in the back seat were licking their fingers as they were polishing off some chicken bones glistening with grease. I kid you not.

I turned my attention back to Bridgette (the fire gal) and we chatted about how the day was going and other random small talk. The other fire guys joined us after they finished cleaning the fluid spills. We started trying to figure out just what the hell the BMW had to do with the wreck. We speculated all kinds of stuff based on the damage, the skid marks, the fluid trails...couldn't figure it out. Finally City PD showed up and we watched the troopers talk to him for a minutes. Then he approached the BMW and talked to the driver. The City PD guy left her, shaking his head and half laughing/half grunting, and went to talk to the two actually involved in the accident.

After the City officer walked away the driver of the BMW got out of her car and approached the same trooper she was talking to earlier. She was carrying a little notepad and she was angry. Again we couldn't hear her but she obviously asked for his name because the trooper stuck out his chest where his name plate was and she wrote it down and stormed back to her car

I just couldn't stand it anymore. I had to know. What the hell was with the BMW and this wreck. So I walked over to the gaggle of troopers and to the one who appeared to be the head hauncho. And told him, "Ok. You have Fire and EMS confused. We've been trying to figure it out and we can't. What the hell does that BMW have to do with the wreck?" He chuckled, and said "Let me tell you what the hell that BMW has to do with the wreck. That BMW ran over a piece of plastic that came off of one of the vehicles after the collision in the middle of the road and she is claiming that it damaged her vehicle. She wants both of their insurance information so she can file claims against them."

THE HELL? Short for WHAT THE HELL? My friend Maria says that and now she has me saying it. Thanks M. But that is what literally came screeching out of my mouth. All of the troopers started laughing and then one told me jokingly that I should probably go check the driver out to see if she's injured too. Again, "the hell" came flying out of my mouth. Followed by, "the fuck ever".

After she got back in her vehicle, she wrote a few more things down in her little notebook and finally decided to leave. Not before nearly missing an unmarked trooper vehicle, the firetruck, and the rear end of my ambulance as she haphazardly navigated her way out of the cluster of emergency vehicles she drove right into the middle of in the first place.

*sigh* And this is why I HATE STUPID PEOPLE! But it is job security after all!

But here is one interesting little tidbit that occurred to me after the whole little incident that my partner, Larry, brought up as we were on the way to our station. There was some serious time lapse going on from when the actual impact occurred until the BMW arrived on scene. It had to have been at least, and I mean at the very least, 10 minutes since the accident occurred. Enough time had transpired for the incident to occur, 911 one to be called, and for me to drive to the accident scene (which I have documented took 8 minutes). Remember I was already on scene when this dumb ass pulled up! Larry came up with the the brilliant reason why. There's a KFC right down the road. Explains the bone lickin' greasy finger suckers in the back.

Topamaxtration

Do you ever ever just feel the need to blog but don't know what the hell to blog about? I swear at different times of the day something random will pop into my head and I'll think, yah thats what I'll blog about! But then a few hours later, poof! I'll have no friggin idea what the hell it was I was thinking about.

I'm going to blame it on the Topamax. A few weeks ago I was put on Topamax to help with my migraines/headaches. I thought my doctor just wanted to throw a medication at me because she could. I assumed my headaches were because of the tension and muscle tightness in my neck and I just needed a weekly masseuse. What? Doesn't everybody? Well lo and behold, I haven't had one headache since going on Topamax... minus the one day I forgot to take it.


One of the side effects is difficulty with concentration and attention. Seriously. Okay, whammie #1. I'm a blond. Whammie #2, I'm a mommy. Concentration is not exactly my forte. And now I'm going to have even more difficulty? Another side effect is loss of memory! Well there you go! There is my blogging problem! That must be why I have all these awesome blogs written in my head, usually while I'm driving down the road, or tossing and turning while trying to fall asleep, or taking a shower.... and don't have jack when I sit down in front of the computer!

Why can't I have one of the other listed side effects, ANOREXIA! Hell yah! There is one that I could use! Can the fat girl have a side effect that she can actual have a use for please!?! What the hell?

*sigh* Well at least I don't have headaches anymore.

Has anyone seen my brain?

Has anyone seen my brain lately? Seriously? As you can obviously see I haven't been blogging. 1)I couldn't really think of anything to blog about, random or not. And 2)I was busy with my sons first birthday party! That was this past Sunday which is why I didn't do my weekly Sunday Situation, which I still might do, maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not.

I love planning and throwing big events. Every year I throw a big Christmas party at our house for all of our closest friends. Each year its gets bigger and more entailed. But I HATE hostessing! Same goes for the big birthday party this past weekend!

For Alex's birthday we had a backyard pig pickin' here at the house. We're southern people! It's what we do. So I invited about 35 people, thinking about half would show up. Um, no almost all of them showed up. Except for Maria.. But she was sick so I'll let her slide. Although she lives in NC, and hates pig. So she probably just stayed home to avoid the pig and so she could lick her new laptop.

My husband turns into this super jack ass when we do big events like these. Never mind the fact that I had been busting my ass for the past three days doing stuff for the party, but apparently he diluted himself into thinking that he had been doing all the work. About and hour and a half before the guests were suppose to arrive I told me husband I was going to jump in the shower. He asked me where I wanted the tables so I pointed in a general direction and said "over there". He started to bitch, moan, and whine, so I turned around and went outside to help him find the exact square inch where to place the tables. While moving the first table we were arguing, about what I really have no clue. But he made the mistake of muttering, "I'm the one who's been doing all the work". What? I'm sorry, WHAT? You didn't clean the house. You didn't do one once of the shopping or planning. Did you decorate the inside and outside of the house? No. Who ordered, decided on, and picked up the cake? Invitations? Presents? Not you. I did all this while chasing after Alex. You're cooking the pig. You had to fetch the pig, get the pig cooker, and put the pig on the grill. Oh and you had to mow the lawn. Yah, wow you've had to do a lot of work. So I drop the table. And I walk inside. He can move the fucking tables himself. I am so livid I can feel my damn body humming. You know the kind of angry I'm talking about where you feel like a live wire? Eventually it passed. He never did apologize. I hate it that we always argue when planning things like this. Never fails.

So the bitches at the party store lied about the balloon weights. I asked them, "Now these weights will keep 5 balloons down on the table in the backyard with some wind? Because my neighborhood is basically treeless." They said, oh yes! They will weigh about 20 balloons down. LIAR! Soon as I set them out on my perfectly done tables, whooooooooooosh, off they flew to the ground. Did I mention I'm somewhat of a perfectionist? I was pissed. Now my perfect tables were not perfect. I even had personally hand made little balloon clips that were keeping the table cloths on the tables in my windy backyard. Ugh. Damn wind. But at least we had sunny 70 degree weather! It was a gorgeous day!

On the day Alex was born, my husband gave me a necklace. It was a silver heart with a diamond butterfly on it. (I have a thing for butterflies) It's one of my favorite things to wear. Usually I put it on myself but I wanted Phillip to put it on me for nostalgia purposes. So I go outside and he's busy chopping up onions. I told him I was going to get him to put my necklace on me, but never mind his hands were nasty. He told me to go get his brother to do it, I said no, not this necklace. Then he said, go get his brother's girlfriend to do it. NO, not this necklace. I started to get a little misty eyed because it was starting to hit me that Alex was now a year old and not my "baby" anymore. So I started to put the necklace on myself and Phillip says, "I didn't think onions made you cry". They don't. Men. He figured it out a minute later.

So remember the whole, anyone seen my brain? Yah, I'm so pissed at myself. I never took a picture of the big birthday cake. The only picture of Alex's birthday cake that he destroyed was right before and while he was destroying it. I was so busy greeting people, talking to people, making sure people had things that I didn't take many pictures. I kept handing my camera off to people. I didn't have time to take any pictures before people got here because I had just gotten Alex and myself dressed right before people showed up. *sigh* I don't have any pictures of Alex with myself or Phillip except when he's eating his cake. I have NO pictures of Alex with any grandparents, family, or other adult friends. I don't have pictures of just people who came to the party. I'm so upset about this. And most people who know me know I'm a photo hog! I'm forever snapping pictures. I don't even remember other people snapping pictures. I know my mom and sister-in-law were taking a few. Oh woe is me. I do however have lots of pictures with Alex and his girlfriend Mary Ruth!! Too cute!!! And I have some great pictures of Alex eating his cake!

So now my baby is a toddler. Although he's been walking for a month now...so he's been "toddling" for a month. Does that mean he's really been a toddler for a month? I'm glad birthday's only come once a year because it was exhausting! I'm still in lazy mode and don't feel like doing jack today. But I guess I should get off my fat ass and go start laundry. At least I don't have to clean the cheerios up off the floor that Alex has been throw over his high chair since I started typing. He thinks it's hilarious that Mia, our yellow lab, is eating them off the floor as he throws them! God bless Mia.

Situation Sunday

Situation Sunday #52
Rules: You have no cell no phone. Visit Helena-Skyblue and leave a link

Situation # 1
Your spouse has been meeting their friends, every other week for a get together. They usually go to this strip club and hang out and have drinks. You have no problem with this until you find out your best friend has been moonlighting there......What do you do?

(This is totally hypothetical because I would not be cool with my husband hanging out at a strip club repeatedly.) Depends. How did I find out my best friend was working there? If my husband told me than I'd ask him if she was any good and exactly how much of her did he see? I'd then tell him he had to find a new place to hang out. If my best friend told me, I'd first say, "****, what the HELL is wrong with you? Why didn't you let me sign up with you? Dumb ass." Then I'd go home to proceed to beat the crap out of my husband.

Situation # 2
You are approached on the street by the local 6 O'clock broad caster. He asks you who do you feel best to win the Presidential Election.....Clinton, Obama or McCain. ( My spelling could be off}....What do you tell them?.......

I start signing random crap in sign language hoping they'll have no idea how to actually do sign language, think I'm deaf, they'll feel embarrassed, and leave me the hell alone. Why? Because I don't pay as close attention to politics as I should... and I don't want to get stoned to death by the democrats.

Situation # 3
You have just found a magical lamp....You rub it and a Genie pops out and grants you 2 wishes...And only 2.....What are they?

Wish #1: To grant me 1 wish a week for the rest of my life. (Don't want to be too greedy)
Wish #2: World peace. :-D

Pseudo Tagged

I really enjoy reading Such Simple Pleasures Blog. But today while reading I inadvertently got tagged! Not only did I get dinged with one meme, but there was a second one threw in there at the end. So I figure, what the hell, I'll do them both. It's not like I have bottles to wash, laundry to fold, a house to clean.... So here's 7 random facts about ME.

These are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Random fact #1:
I hate onions. I hate the smell of onions. I hate the feel of onions. I can't stand onion residue left over when I have had to remove an onion from my food. I do not like them raw, diced, chopped, minced, cooked, or sauteed. I do, however, like them fried. I like onion rings. It's the only way I will eat an onion. I know its strange! What? It's no different than you weirdo's who love ketchup but hate a tomato!

Random fact #2:
I shave my legs in the winter sporadically. Seriously. Unless I have a doctors appointment, I'm going to get a pedicure, or the hair is getting to the point where it's starting to curl, I don't bother! I'm cold natured anyway, so I'm always wearing pants. It doesn't help that I can't stand the sight of my pasty white elephant legs. A year ago my motto use to be, "tan fat is better than white fat"! But since a little brush with *almost* melanoma, tan fat is no longer an option. So these legs stay covered. Why bother with the tedious shaving if they're not to be seen by the general public? Now don't get all grossed out. It's usually only 2-3 weeks and I have blonde hair so I'm not some hairy legged amazon woman stomping around!

Random fact #3
I dread every Wednesday night. My husband is part of a dart league and has games every Wednesday night. He's gone from the house from 6:45p till 11p and after (And he usually gets home at 6p from work). So the way my work schedule is, one week (like today), is my last day of my week off from work. I go back to work the next day for a straight week of working 12 hours shifts (except on Sunday). So after running ragged all day after Alex and finally getting him in bed. I then have to make sure all the house stuff is done and everything is in order for me to return back to work. On the opposite Wednesday night, it is my last day of working my week. But because of darts, when I get off work at 9p (if I get off on time) I have to drive to the in-laws (joy joy), get Alex, pray he'll go to sleep at a decent hour, and after he finally does, attend to my house that has been neglected for the better part of the week. Hump day it is not.

Random fact #4
I don't like the name of my blog anymore. I don't know why. I just don't.

Random fact #5
I love to read. Before Alex I use to read a book or two a week. I started reading before Kindergarten so by the time I got to Kindergarten I was already reading at a 2nd grade level. The school of course wanted to skip me a grade, but thankfully my parents said no. They already saw how hard it was on my brother who in fact skipped kindergarten. It's a good thing, because reading was the only thing I was good at! Science and History I was fine in, but math, hell no. I hate math. Oh, and I had problem playing well with others. Now I average about a book a month. I'm still buying books like I'm reading them weekly. My husband is not thrilled with the stacks of books randomly placed all over the house.

Random fact #6
I came really close to having melanoma. There was a freckle on my lower leg that turned into a tiny mole..that got darker... and darker. It was really small but I know freckles weren't suppose to do that. So I just kept looking at it. Maybe I was waiting for it to go away. I waited for about two years. It didn't go away. So while I was on maternity leave I decided to make an appointment with the dermatologist. She of course dug it out and sent it to pathology. It came back. And they called and said I needed to give them a call about my pathology report. I forgot to return the phone call, more than once. I was busy was a newborn!! So finally I got a letter that said HEY DUMBASS, your pathology report was abnormal, call our office. Or something like that. So the result was, the mole was pre-cancer as in it was one stage below melanoma. If I would have procrastinated a few more months, it would have been melanoma. Scary. Lesson learned! Nothing like hearing you came close to having a deadly skin cancer with a 6 week old baby at home! So I had to go to a plastic surgeon who had to take an even bigger chunk out of my leg to make sure that the abnormal cells had not spread or made it to the blood vessels. Thankfully they had not. But now I have a scar like Harry Potter on my lower leg, although its not as cool. It kinda looks like a botched tattoo removal. Eh.

Random fact #7
I cuss too much. I use not to. No, I've always cussed. I mean it wasn't as bad as it is now! I drop the F bomb regularly, and thats new. Road rage is getting worse too. Is it because I'm getting older? Old and crotchety? Ha ha! Oh well, it's just something else for me to jot down in my list of things to work on.

Now technically I'm suppose to tag 7 people. But instead I'm just going to tag YOU! Yep, thats right, YOU! TAG! You read it and not you're tagged. Sucks for you! Although I am going to call one person out:

HEY MARIA! TAG!

I won't tag anyone on the second one. The second meme rules are:

* Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.
* Open it to page 123.
* Find the 5th sentence.
* Post the next 3 sentences.
* Tag 3 people.

Taken from Stone Cold by David Baldacci
An hour later she took a break and Milton followed her to a table outside the bar area where she sipped on a cup of coffee, an unlit cigarette dangling in her free hand. Milton said, "Mrs. Radnor?" Startled, the woman looked at him warily.

Mama Drama Rewind

For those of you who initially read my Mama Drama blog, there is yet another side of the story! One of the other mothers involved also blogged about it and has now made it public! Kristie has been composing her catharsis of events for months! Its long and very thorough! Here is a link and in Kristie's words:

I am going to share the link to only ONE of the 20+ posts that I wrote. This link will bring you to a SUMMARY POST. Within the summary post, you'll find additional links to more details, emails to/from management, and to the blog as a whole. Read as much or as little as you want... read whatever (if anything) you want.

Click here to read Kristie's blog

If you'd like to hear another side of the Mama Drama, click on the link and read on! If not, disregard this blog!

Don't forget, there are also Maria's versions Part 1 and Part 2!

Oh and for those malicious women that keep name calling and telling me to get over it, get a life, etc. (see comment) I am over it. I also have a tracker on my blog and know that you keep coming back to my site! This post is for you! So go read what Kristie has to say!